28
August
2006
It’s hard to believe that the world would be a better place if all parents worked outside the home and left their children in childcare. Having the privilege to spend my days with my child, I get the privilege of viewing the world through her eyes and I believe this helps to remind me of how sacred every little thing is. I’m constantly amazed by the pleasure my daughter takes in the smallest things and I love her games and her newfound language. Most adults, including myself, have forgotten what it means to play. My daughter is teaching me to have more fun doing nothing and to laugh at silly things. If more of us could do this, I believe the world would be a better place.
Posted under Motherhood, Uncategorized
25
August
2006
This week I had the pleasure of having 2 visitors, Esther’s cousins, 4 and 2 1/2 years old. Having three kids was total chaos but also exhilarating! When they left this morning, I experienced the same sadness I remember when I would be left off for the plane or bus going back to college when my younger siblings were still at home. The profound quiet following constant chaos is quite sad, actually. There is a certain adrenaline rush that goes with juggling multiple children of different ages, not unlike the high after an arduous group bike ride or a night of constant emergency as a hospital chaplain. (After a summer of chaplaincy training at Mass General 1998 (99?) I could see the allure of being an emergency room doctor or nurse or an EMT.) Pushing beyond your limits is fun!
Of course it was also nice to pass my neices back to their grandparents this morning and have some time to sit down with my blog, but I must remember the high they gave me. It’s easy to say those parents with lots of kids must be crazy, but maybe, just maybe, the joys really do outweigh the difficulties.
Posted under Motherhood, My Life
19
July
2006
Our housemate Lauren just came up from the basement saying she saw a bird or a bat. It was a bat. But how did it get in? I’ve been wishing for bats to come and eat the mosquitos and I imagined putting up a bat house somewhere in our yard. Yet somehow a bat decided the basement would be a good place to be. I guess I’d better be careful what I wish for. Eventually the bat went outside. It’s welcome to hang around as long as it doesn’t “hang” in the house.
Posted under Uncategorized
10
July
2006
Just when I think I have time to write a brief entry into my blog, I hear a little voice on the monitor as Esther wakes from her nap. I was expecting her to sleep another 1/2 hour. For those of you wondering why I don’t blog more, here’s why: Babies don’t ever behave as we wish they would and they get in the way of our “adult work.” They are new human beings doing just as they are intended to. That is, reminding their parents that when you’re a parent your life is not your own. Waking, sleeping, reading, writing, exercising, eating, and more must happen when baby is not in need of care. Fortunately, Esther wakes up slowly, chatting with “Bear” and “Cowbunny” for a few minutes before she started calling for mom. Oh…. there she goes! Maaaaammmmmmmaaaaa!
Posted under Motherhood, My Life
3
June
2006
Parenting teaches patience, or so I’ve been told. But gardening seems to be a better teacher. Every day I go out and look at my garden to see what is new. I thrill at the new buds, leaves, and flowers. But I also find myself wishing certain things were farther along. I end up pruning at inappropriate times, overwatering, and picking unripe strawberries. Gardening is an art form. Letting the garden come into its own is a lot like trusting that our children will come out ok if we do our best (hopefully even if we don’t). Yet, even now, at 5:00 a.m. in the pouring rain, I’m wishing the rain would stop so I can get my hands dirty. Patience, Rachele, Patience!
Posted under Motherhood, My Life
3
June
2006
Global Climate Change has brought Boston a lot of rain this spring. Now that I’ve started getting into gardening, rain has become a blessing rather than a nuisance. It’s so wonderful to be able to know that with each little raindrop, my new seedlings are growing roots and leaves. Being a mother of a human being is the joy of my life, but I also feel motherly instincts towards my plants. Yesterday I finished my “bean pole harp.” I can’t wait to see the peas and beans gently twining their way up the taut strings. They’re so cute!
Posted under Motherhood, My Life
17
May
2006
Since buying our house in 2004, I’ve interviewed dozens of contractors for many of the numerous projects our poorly neglected 1865 house needs. I’m continually disappointed with those few (thankfully, few!) contractors who insist on meeting with both me and my husband. I tell them that I’m the one gathering information and ultimately responsible for choosing contractors, but some are not convinced. Today I had a contractor say that “we need to consider our economic position, you understand? If we come out for a free estimate, we want to make sure we answer all of your questions.” When I assured him that I would be the only one who he need to talk to, he said he was “sorry that you have to miss out on such a good opportunity!” I wonder if such a contractor would insist on meeting with both my husband and I if it was my husband who had made the call. I think not.
On a side note, I think the entire construction industry is one major racket. It’s almost impossible to get any prices for doors, windows, siding or any other component of construction without going through the time consuming “Free Estimate,” which is really just a way for contractors to “get in the door.” You really need a thick skin to deal with these folks.
I’ve been told the cost of construction in the Boston area is approximately $175 a square foot. For that much money, they should be able to write off a few unsucessful “free estimates.” I’ll continue to work only with those contractors who don’t think I’m wasting their time.
Posted under Feminism
1
May
2006
I recently created a chart of my week so I can see how much time I actually have. Most often it seems that all I do is childcare, but when I look at my newly prepped vegetable garden, the piles of branches from recently pruned trees, bags of leaves, and newly planted flowers, I know that I have done a lot. Gardening during nap time is becoming my speciality. My next goal is to find other projects that can be done during the 1 to 2 hour time slots available throughout the day (blog entries among them!)
Posted under Motherhood, My Life
12
April
2006
I started a blog in order to record my thoughts about motherhood, etc. A major problem with full-time motherhood is not actually having enough time to get things done. I woke up this morning when Esther cried at 2:30 a.m. I tried to get back to sleep but kept thinking about all the things I had to do, so I just got up and started doing them! I organized files, worked on finances, checked emails and now am writing here. Perhaps the stay-at-home parents who don’t also have a huge yard in need of pruning, raking and planting, a house in desperate need of renovation, and a partner who’s work hours run from 8:00 to 8:00 most days can accomplish the normal tasks of cooking, shopping and cleaning and still have time to play with baby, but I could use a few extra hours. Can I continue to get by on 5 hours of sleep? Probably not for long, but it’s nice to see the sunrise out my office window!
Posted under Motherhood, My Life
28
March
2006
In this week’s Boston Sunday Globe Ideas section (March 26, 2006), Drake Bennett’s Article “A Man’s Right to Choose” exposes an interesting underside to the “Pro choice/Pro life” debate. In a 2000 case called AZ v. BZ, the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court ruled that
a man who had signed seven agreements granting his wife control over their frozen embryos in the event of a divorce could nonetheless change his mind and prevent her from implanting them.To decide otherwise, the court found, would be “forced procreation.”
In light of the Right to Life movement’s vicious campaign to outlaw abortion, I find the concept of “forced procreation” in the case of a man who does not want his sperm used to be laughable. What is being forced? You don’t want little “mini mes” running around without your permission? How many women have had to take care of unwanted children because they are unable to obtain a safe and legal abortion? The number of these women continues to grow as fewer and fewer doctors are being trained to perform abortions and fewer and fewer states are allowing abortions. Women effectively experience “forced procreation” whenever we cannot terminate an unwanted pregnancy.
Bennett’s article centers on a recent case taken on by The National Center for Men. The case concerns a 25 year old male who claims he did not want children and therefore should not have to pay child support for his 7 month old child. The case has been labeled (and trademarked) “Roe v. Wade for Men.”
I wonder if the National Center for Men gets the concept that Roe v. Wade is about a woman’s body, not merely what comes out of a woman’s body. Sperm and Egg are simply not equivalent. As long as women continue to provide the only safe place for a fertilized egg to grow into a human being, women’s role in procreation will continue to be vastly more complicated and more dangerous than a man’s. Women risk their own life every time they choose to have a child. Men simply do not take this risk.
Posted under Feminism, Motherhood